The Coaching Culture Hub

Do you communicate effectively? Find out today with the iMA free diagnostic tool.

Imagine the scene: You are talking about a work matter with a colleague. She seems to be in a bad mood and talks to you in monosyllables.  She gives the impression of wanting to be almost anywhere else but in your company.

Or how about this: You’re in conversation with someone at work about an ongoing project, but while you want answers to your questions, your colleague seems intent on chatting to you and going off-topic. You are in danger of losing your temper.

Scenarios like this play out up and down the country – indeed all over the world – every single day. They cause stress and discord; they contribute to absenteeism. In short, they cost money.

But it needn’t be so.

Research has shown that there are essentially four kinds of communicator in this world, and we all have a principal mode of communication that we prefer to use, and that we prefer others to use when speaking to us.

These four types – let’s call them dialects – are nothing to do with nationality or native language. They’re to do with how we think and how we interact with others.

Each dialect has its strengths and weaknesses, and once we recognise the preferred dialect of those around us, both in work and in social situations, we can act accordingly, leveraging the strengths and minimising exposure to the weaknesses. This has the effect of smoothing out the rough edges of communication, lowering workplace stress levels, increasing productivity and making easier to achieve the kind of results we seek from our transactions with others.

Some people are apparently adept at fitting in with others, and these people are often naturally able to identify the ‘dialect’ spoken by those they speak to and fit into it without effort.

For the rest of us though wouldn’t it be great to have an understanding of how to get the best from our conversations?

iMA is a process that allows us exactly that luxury. Firstly in auditing the preferred communication style of those who participate (via a very short online questionnaire), and then by educating the various groups – broken up by dialect – in the best ways to cope with those who speak each of the other three dialects, and also how to identify the dialect spoken by those we meet in day to day life.

The effects of this simple and easily understood concept are huge, and for sheer return on investment it’s something that any business – large or small – can profit by both in terms of a more productive working environment and a happier and less stressed workforce.

Take the free iMA diagnostic assessment now at www.ima-up.co.uk to find out your own communication style.

Or alternatively contact us at insight@unlimitedpotential.co.uk to book an audit of your workforce and to discuss workshops to maximise the benefit of the iMA process.

One of those days

Our coach has had a coaching relationship with Jon for a long time.  Jon is a senior manager in his organisation. They have built up a trusting long term relationship and during that time Jon has had successes and failures, highs and lows with the business and on odd occasions with himself.

Coach arrives to find Jon uncharacteristically sitting on the wrong side of his desk sideways and somewhat slumped in the chair at his meeting table.

Coach: “Good morning Jon how are things today?”  What would you like to talk about? I was glad to read your last year results in the press – great effort, well done.

Jon: “Yea, I suppose so.  It was really down to James and the success he had in his division.  There was a huge upsurge in demand and he had quite a job to keep up as you well know.”

Coach: “So where are you going next, what is the next great objective?”

Jon: “I am not sure. I do not seem to have the enthusiasm at the moment. I cannot see why. Everything is going well as usual.”

Coach: “I there any area that is not happening as you would like it to.”

Remember Jon is in a very successful business; has not had any failure for many many years and so is used to everything going well.  That has become the norm.

Jon: “Not that I am aware of.”

Coach; “OK let’s have a look at the various areas of your life one by one. Business?

Jon: “All going according to plan?”

Coach: “What projects have you got going at the moment?  Where are you with the new factory at the other end of the country? What about the acquisition of ABC Ltd? Where are you with the JV with DEF Ltd?”

Jon: “All going well, Dave is now running the project for the new factory, Bill has got control of the acquisition and Jill is working on the JV.”

Coach “OK.  How about outside work then. Clare, your wife, the family all the boys and girls.”

Jon: “Well Will is struggling with his job and that is a bit frustrating bearing in mind all the effort, time and money I have put behind him, but he will no doubt get there.  As you know Liz’s husband is not the man I would like him to be, but there is not much I can do about that.”

Coach: “How about you, how are all those various projects of yours coming on – the building, the garden pond, the painting, the summerhouse, the boat you are building etc?”

Jon: “I don’t think that it is Will that is getting to me ...........”

We are going to interrupt this conversation whilst our coach works around the three areas that may be getting to Jon.  Digging deep around all three whilst Jon prevaricates and says all is well in each area. 

We now rejoin it some 25 minutes later.

Coach “Jon let me tell you what I am hearing.  Work is, at the moment, not really challenging you as an individual, you are frustrated that Will is not performing as well as you would like, but what you keep coming back to time and time again is that boat you are building.  If that is frustrating you, why don’t you get somebody to finish it?”

Jon: “Well you want to do these things yourself but............................................ you may have a point there.  Let me think about it.

Ummmm. I have got myself into a corner, trapped into the must do mentality.  I think I may be churning over and over about all these bits I have got to do and it is building up in my mind and blocking everything out.”

Coach: “So what is the cure? Create more time for yourself.”

I think we can allow our coach to make a suggestion in this case.  There are a few times when it can be helpful.

Jon “I cannot take time off.”

Coach “Well how about switching off those emails?”

Another suggestion by the coach, but again probably justified.

Jon: “Phwew, no emails.  How will they manage without me?”

Coach  “How will they manage without you if you become ill due to overwork.”

This is a great example of the right question at the right time.  Well done our coach.

Jon “I think I will make a list of all those outstanding items and see if I can get some of them done by others to clear my mind.  I think also that I will have a week off to get the world into perspective.  Thanks coach.  I fell a lot better.”

You could argue that this conversation was not a true coaching conversation.  The coach has, in fact, been rectifying a problem rather than extending the coachee to improve their potential, however in a long running coaching relationship, one would expect occasionally to have a session like this.

However, the coach needs to be careful not to get into a position where they are just empathising.  There must be the element of challenge and the metaphorical holding of the mirror up to the coachee.

This is a real example of how the coach must go with the situation and never try to dominate it.

Coaching resource of the month

Each month we will introduce you to a useful tool or technique that will help improve either your coaching or the coaching of the people around you. Please feel free to use this tool/technique around the organisation as much as you like.

Download the PDF 'Life Balance Tool'

10 top tips for working with Asian Cultures

1. Never touch a person’s head, even to pat a child, the head is the seat of the soul

2. Beckoning someone with the hand or finger is insulting as is standing with your hands on your hips

3. Never point your feet at someone. If your shoes or feet touch someone else, make sure you apologise immediately

4. The word ‘no’ is considered harsh in Asian culture. Evasive refusals such as ‘maybe’ or ‘I’ll try’ are preferred and regularly used

5. Always use formal titles when interacting with Asian clients, however many times you’ve met them

6. The use of leather products including belts, handbags and briefcases may be considered offensive

7. It is generally not socially acceptable for Asian women to be touched by any male other than husband or child. This is obviously changing as more and more Asian women are entering the corporate world and travelling globally for business, but if in doubt only shake hands with an Asian woman if she offers her hand first.

8. Asians take themselves very seriously so the UK dry sense of humour and gentle banter that we take for granted is unlikely to be well received

9. Be aware of the deeply established caste system and understanding dharma and karma – explained more fully in another article

10. It is inappropriate for a man to make any comment about a woman’s appearance